What to Write in a Veterans Day Card
One specific sentence turns a veterans day card into something kept. Here is how to find it, what to avoid asking, and what to write for a family member.
- Do not ask about combat and do not assume there was any. Most service is ordinary work, and a card that assumes otherwise is uncomfortable to receive.
- Do not ask about combat, and do not thank somebody for a war. Thank the person for the service, and leave the politics of it out entirely.
- Not every veteran had a heroic tour and not every one feels good about it. A card that assumes pride can be uncomfortable to receive.
- For a family member, the strongest thing is to ask about their life rather than their service, and to record the answers while you can.
Thank you for your service is not an incorrect thing to write. It is polite, it is meant, and it is what most cards say.
The difficulty is only that it is said so often that it has stopped carrying much. It is the Veterans Day equivalent of sorry for your loss: a way of acknowledging something without saying anything in particular.
One specific sentence fixes it.
Add something specific
- Thank you for your service, and for never once making a fuss about any of it.
- Thank you. Twenty-two years is most of a working life and I do not think I appreciated that as a child.
- I have been thinking about what you gave up to do that. Thank you.
- Thank you for your service. Also for teaching me to iron a shirt properly, which I use more often.
That last one is doing something useful. Humor and ordinariness are frequently more welcome than solemnity, because a lot of veterans find being treated as a monument slightly uncomfortable.
For a family member
This is where the card can do real work, because you have material nobody else has.
- I have your photograph from Cyprus on the shelf and people ask about it constantly.
- Thank you for the years you did that. I know it was not all of it good.
- I did not understand what you had done until I was about thirty. Thank you.
- You have never talked about it much and you do not have to. I am proud of you anyway.
That last line matters. It says the thing without requesting a conversation in return, which is important for anybody who does not want to discuss it.
Do not assume how they feel about it
Not every veteran had a heroic tour. Some served in peacetime, some had a difficult time, some left under circumstances they would not choose to explain, and some carry things they do not want raised over a card.
A card assuming pride, adventure or glory can be genuinely uncomfortable to receive.
The safe register is gratitude for the service and interest in the person, without characterizing the experience.
What to leave out
- Questions about combat. Never in a card. Did you ever have to shoot anybody is a question veterans report being asked constantly and universally dislike.
- Politics of the conflict. Whatever your view, the card is about the person.
- Assuming a rank, a branch or a war. Getting it wrong is worse than not mentioning it, and it is easy to get wrong.
- Hero, unless you know they are comfortable with it. Many are not, and it can read as a word about a category rather than about them.
- Anything requiring a reply.
For a stranger or a colleague
Short and warm.
- Thank you for your service. Enjoy the day.
- Thinking of you today and grateful.
- Thank you. From everybody here.
For someone still serving
Different day and different register, and the useful content is usually about home.
- Everything here is fine and everybody is fine. We are counting down.
- The garden is a disaster without you. Come home.
- Nothing to report. That is the good news. Thinking of you.
Our guides to a song for a deployed soldier and deployment gift ideas for a spouse cover the surrounding gift, and military homecoming surprise ideas covers the return.
If they have died
Veterans Day is a day of loss for a lot of families, and mentioning the person is usually welcome.
- Thinking about Grandad today. I told the boys about the Cyprus photograph.
- Remembering your dad today, and you.
Our guide to what to write in a sympathy card covers the wording where the loss is recent.
The thing worth doing this year
Record them talking. Not about combat unless they raise it, but about the ordinary parts: where they were posted, what the food was like, who they shared a room with, what they did on a Sunday.
Almost every family with a veteran in it wishes they had done this, and the window closes without notice. It takes an afternoon and a phone.
The same material is what makes [a song about them](/create?occasion=veterans day) work, and our guide to a custom song for Veterans Day covers what to put in one.
For every other occasion, our what to write hub has the wording.
Frequently asked questions
What do you write in a Veterans Day card?
Thank them, then add one specific sentence. Naming the length of service, something they gave up, or an ordinary thing they taught you turns a standard phrase into a card somebody keeps.
Is thank you for your service the right thing to write?
It is not wrong, it is just said so often that it passes through unheard. Keep it if you like and add something specific after it, which is what makes the difference.
What should you not write in a Veterans Day card?
Questions about combat, opinions about the conflict, assumptions about rank, branch or war, and the word hero if you do not know they are comfortable with it. Many veterans are not.
What do you write to a veteran who does not talk about it?
Say the thing without asking for a conversation back. You have never talked about it much and you do not have to, and I am proud of you anyway, covers it without requesting anything.
What do you write to someone currently serving?
Write about home rather than about the service. Everything here is fine, the garden is a disaster, nothing to report. Ordinary news from home is what people on deployment consistently say they want.